I got my first apartment when I was 16. Looking back, shit happened so fast back then. A year earlier I got drunk and smoked weed for the first time. When I got the apartment, I was chronically stoned and borderline alcoholic.
It was a weird life. Half of the time i went to the larger city, where the band was, the two drummers apartment. Those kids where good, good grades at a good college. We threw parties, played gigs, trusted each other. They where different, I was different there.
What worried me the most was not the drugs. I had completely lost my path, no idea what I was supposed to do. Fucked up grades, no education. My only skills where knowing shit about movies and music. Everyone else seemed to be going somewhere, even the druggos wanted to be some b-boy druglord.
The video store was gone, it was in a different city anyways. The city I was living, my hometown, had its own video store. This one also had a cafe and a pool table. I was there almost everyday. I rented a old, one-money movie, every time. This is where you got to meet more normal people. The kids not smart enough to leave, but smart enough, not to drop out. I had some solid friends among that crowd as well.
So much happened during these years, but at the same time, nothing happened. I was way more immature when I was 20 compared to how I was at 14, more stupid.
Chaotic psychedelic experiments, chemically lobotomizing myself. It sure took its toll. It was close a couple of times.